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I look at Divorce therapy as three different stages. I work with people who have decided to get a divorce and are overwhelmed and flooded by all of the changes, decisions and feelings that accompany divorce. This is the Initial Phase of the process, and having a therapist to work through all of what is happening with your family, your soon to be ex, your lawyers, and your extended social network is an important resource. There is a lot to handle emotionally, logistically and in processing the feeling of shock, loss or disappointment you may be feeling.
I often call Phase 2 “Crazy Time” because so many people, while in the middle of their divorce, feel as though they are losing their minds. At some point, I have heard this in one form or another with every client I have counseled going thru this process. I have written an article on this entitled “No, You Are Not Going Crazy, You Are Going Through A Divorce”. You can connect on it through the blog/article section of this website. Obviously, this is a key time to seek therapeutic help in order to help you to help yourself make long lasting, important decisions. A therapist can help you with your thought process on many emotional issues as well as help to connect you to what your true goals are when you may be the least stable and strong to do so.
The Final stage of Divorce Therapy is The New Normal. Learning how to create that new normal after so many changes and often so many losses occur, can sometimes feel like Dorothy waking up after the tornado and not having a clue how to navigate the new world. A therapist can help you to reconnect with yourself, to heal from the Crazy Time and to help forge a new beginning. In some ways this is one of the most important phases of divorce work because it provides a built in opportunity to learn how to embrace change and to make different choices that you may have been stuck in before you went through the pain of a divorce This truly presents as a second chance, but in order for it to work, the emotional work of accepting loss, anger, pain, and disappointment must be processed.